Note: This is a work of fiction….just like Jodi Aria’s testimony.
The Clinician Vs. Jodi Arias
Clinician: Hello Miss Arias. May I call you Jodi?
JA: *giggles* Sure.
Clinician: What brings you into the ER from cells today, Jodi?
JA: I think I am depressed. Or anxious. Or maybe I’m suicidal. I’m not sure, it’s a bit foggy. I want sick note so I can take a break from this trial for a while.
Clinician: Ok, well it says here on your chart that you are currently on trial for murder, and you are facing the death penalty, right?
JA: That’s right. *runs her fingers through her hair and looks at the split ends*
Clinician: Jodi, we don’t give out sick notes for people to get out of trial. I am not sure why you think we could do that sort of thing. Unless you’re in the middle of a heart attack, there is no way a physician is going to get you out of trial.
JA: Um, well….look… It’s not the proceedings per se, No jury will convict me, you can mark my words on that one.*flashes smile* It’s really more about this one person who is absolutely driving me crazy and I don’t think I can stand one more day of listening to him.
Clinician: And who is that?
JA: It’s the prosecutor, Juan Martinez. I hate him. Like… I know he has a job to do and all, but he is being a complete bastard to everyone and Judge Sherry won’t make him stop. And it is putting me in a really foul mood. Even the guards are noticing that I am not as chipper lately. It’s like he stays up day and night trying to think of ways to get to me. He never shuts up. He asks the same stupid questions over and over again. If you don’t agree with him, he just yells at you. If you ask me, its unprofessional and complete overkill.
Clinician: Ok, hold on there. Just to be clear, you are the defendant in a murder trial, right?
JA: Yes, but as I said-
Clinician: And he is the prosecutor, right?
JA: Yes, but-
JA: but I am feeling upset about the way he is doing his job and-
Clinician: Did I ask you how you were feeling about him?
JA: He is being mean to me-
Clincian: Jodi, do you have a memory problem?
JA: No, I have an excellent memory; I just don’t like your tone.
Clincian: Please answer my question.
Clinician: It is his job to present a case against you, right?
JA: Yes, contemperanously yes! *anger flashes over face* you sound just like HIM.
Clinician: Well based on that, I am sure that it is not all that hard for you to understand why you might have a problem with him. He is asking the State to give you a lethal injection. He is not supposed to be your friend, Jodi.
JA: Is that a real stethoscope? I bought myself one a while back. I wanted to take some pictures of a friend of mine wearing one. I’m a photographer, you know. Do you have a pen I could borrow?
Clinician: Jodi, I think we are getting off base here. I am still trying to sort out why you are here and what, if anything we can do for you. Why don’t we go through a few standard questions and see where that takes us, alright?
JA: Alright, shoot.
Clinician: How about some historical information…tell me about your growing up years. Your home town, your family.
JA: *takes a breath, fawns at her hair* Well I grew up in this small town, Yreka. It’s a pretty town, but really small. My parents are in the restaurant business, and we have a really large, close family. I have a sister too, but she is just an embarrassment to the family. She’s in rehab. Total disappointment to my parents. I was never like that. Then again, my parents were never really interested in anything I did. But yes, it was a normal kind of childhood I guess. I moved away the year before my arrest to Mesa but I ended up coming back because I was broke and Travis and I needed some space. Not with my parents, though. I moved in with my grandparents in a cute little house. I had not really even unpacked, because I was planning on going on the road again, but Flores put a damper on that with the whole arrest and all.
Clinician: Whoa. Slow down a bit here. You’re all over the map. You said your family was close, but then you say they weren’t interested in you. Do you get along with your parents, or not?
JA: My mother is just a complete bitch, really. She is always trying to nose into my personal affairs. I can’t stand her. My father just takes her side.
Clinician: So you are not a close family, right?
JA: Well we are in the sense that we live close to one another, like in Yreka. So yes, we are close in that sense.
Clinician: *raises eyebrows* Ok. So you grew up in a small town. You moved away, and came back to get some time away from Travis.
JA: I can agree with that.
Clinician: OK, so Jodi you mentioned a “Flores” putting a damper on you going on the road before your arrest. Where were you going?
JA: Well I was going to take a trip down the coast to see a few friends. I had some gas cans to return. It’s a longer drive, but I don’t mind sleeping in my car. I never have had any problems sleeping. And after hitting the Starbucks for a strawberry Frappuccino, I was going to cross the State line and make my way over to Florida, and then drive up the coast to Canada. I have a friend in Mesa that I wanted to stop in and say hello to, so I was planning on that, on the way. So I loaded up my car, well it was a rental, but anyway…I loaded up the car and was all set to get out of dodge, when Detective Flores decided to make an impromptu visit and long story short, I ended up getting arrested.
Clinician: Uh huh. *glazed look on face*
JA: So anyway, I have been in jail for quite a while now, and that part wasn’t so bad. I can get used to any environment I have to. Besides, the girls don’t bother you much if you are in there for murder *giggles* so it’s not like I am being harassed or anything. I mean it’s not fun being in there, but it’s doable. I would like to get some make-up and decent hair products, but thanks to Sheriff Joe, we don’t get anything. He is another one of those men who really piss me off. He walks around there like he owns the place. He makes me so mad. And there is really not much to do, so I was really looking forward to the trial because at least I had something to do outside these noisy walls every day. Different people to see, stuff to read, you know?
Clinician: Jodi, I think we are really getting off track here.
JA: *ignores comment* Jennifer Willmott is SUCH a hoot. She lets me use her hand lotion every day at court. It’s a coconut and pomegranate lotion that smells so good. When I get out of here I am going to buy myself a huge bottle because I love it so much. Jenn is always nice and chatty. Its Nurmi, the big ox, that I could do without. I don’t know why Judge Sherry won’t let him off the case. He doesn’t believe me, and he won’t even talk to me. I mean shit, if he could sit any farther away from me he would be in Juan’s lap! Jenn told me that she could do this on her own anyway. I think he has actually fallen asleep in court. I once asked him if he was going to just lay down on the floor instead of punishing the chair like he does. So back to Jennifer, I love her suits. She always tells me what color she is going to wear the next day so we can match. Isn’t that so cute? Its like “Go team Jodi” when we all walk in matching. *smiles and looks thoughtfully*. So to get to this Juan fucker, all he does is yell at everyone. He reminds me of an annoying Chihuahua. He’s a big as one too.
Clinician: Jodi, I understand that things are not going your way and all, but really I don’t see that there is anything I can do for you. So unless there is something else-
JA: No, wait. Ok, I am getting to it. I just want to put this all in context for you.
Clinician: I am feeling like you are trying to use this service to get out of court, and that is not going to work Jodi. I have other people to see.
JA: You’re mischaracterizing what I am saying. If Travis were here, he would tell you I need a break. *grimaces face, no tears, but tries to look like she is crying*
Clinician: Alright, Jodi. What is it you want to say?
JA: *immediately perks up* Ok. So basically, no one outside of Jennifer really sees what this prosecutor is pulling. Like my witnesses got ripped a new one, just for being on my side. Of course I wish they would have found me better ones. I did my job. Do you know how long it took me to write all those journals? I was up all hours of the night getting that done. Getting the entries to coincide with the statements I made was no easy feat. And stupid Juan thinks I have a “memory problem”. My IQ is almost up there with Einstein! Did you know that?
Clinician: um…no. *incredulous stare *
JA: Alyce certainly fucked up big this week. I had no idea she was such a wet blanket. She could not just say what we told her…no. She’s gotta make it all about HER, and HER groups, and HER thirty years, and HER stupid so called “model” that made ME look like the bad guy in all of this- she might as well load the needle herself. Thank god we have a few more things under our sleeve to fix all the damage she did. I really hope this mistrial thing works out…
Clinician: Now wait a minute Jodi, you are blaming your defense witness for damaging your case now. I thought it was Juan Martinez you were angry with, not the expert. You are not making sense here.
JA: Did you not hear me? Alyce is a moron. I had no idea that she was so full of shit. At least I got a few magazines out of her. I mean she was all fine with everything when we were getting ready for trial, and then as soon as she goes up against Juan, she is calling Jenn at all hours of the night asking why WE set her up. Can you believe it? She should have been less interested in what Juan was trying to say and more interested in telling the jury that I’m the victim here.
She’s just as bad as Slimy Nurmi and his bullshit antics. That guy has hated everything about me since the day I met him. I mean he thought he could just plead this out and it was going to be a fast case. His so called civic duty to defend a person with no money. And I am SO sick of being broke. I hope I at least get something out of the pictures I drew. That bitch better not rip me off. All the money is going in her account because I don’t trust my mother as far as I can throw her. I would have preferred her NOT to be in the court room, I can’t stand even looking at her, but Nurmi said it looks good for the jury. And God forbid Nurmi not get his own way. I get why he was mad about the TV interview with 48 hours. My bad. And I said I was sorry, what does he want, blood or a blowjob? He is just incompetent. If he was a good lawyer, I would have been out of here a long time ago. Poor Jenn is constantly cleaning up after him at lunch too. Did you know he eats 2 large subs for lunch everyday? No wonder why he is huge.
Clinician: Jodi, with all due respect here, you slit a man’s throat. You stabbed him 3 dozen times. You shot him in the head. And you lied about it. I see defending you as a very difficult task for anyone, defense theory or not. It does not look good. I don’t think you are focusing on the real matter at hand here.
JA: Look, am I going to get the note or not? Because I have an appointment for new glasses in half an hour. These ones are giving me headaches. I don’t even need them, but Jenn thinks they make me look good.
Clinician: You don’t have to answer this, but I gotta ask…Don’t you feel any remorse at all for what you did to Travis? Like you killed someone, and you are so wrapped up in how people are treating you, and your hardships that you don’t give the impression that you have put any thought into why you are in this position in the first place. Have you no remorse about what happened?
JA: I feel sad that Travis and I will not be able to see all those places in that book, if that is what you mean. And I know that he wanted me to go with him, as opposed to anyone else. We had such plans, you know?
Clinician: Jodi, you killed him. You talk about him not being around like-
JA: Well I was in that fog, you know. I don’t remember doing it. So in a sense, it is like it didn’t happen because I can’t remember it. Look, give me a note, or get the guard. I’m running late.
Clinician: *stands up, shakes head* Guard…take this psychopath back to her cell.